Here is a tarot reading from the great Rod Bradshaw – he of the psychic phone service I text-messaged, and the holiday home on Philip Island. You can see him doing his reading at
www.clairvoyantz.tv/highlights.html . Clairvoyantz TV is allegedly shown ‘all across Australia and in some states of America.’ So if you’re planning to go to the USA, choose a state that
doesn’t show it. But seriously I’d never heard of it before I came across it on the internet. I suppose it might be on public access TV which I don’t have access to. Such a shame.
So here’s Rod, looking like a reject Mel Gibson prototype, sitting in a lounge room observed by a bunch of assorted people, and a large and lonely fish in a tank. Are these rent-a-crowd (and fish) or people who actually
wanted to be on Clairvoyantz TV? Either option is sad. Actions that take place are in
italics and my comments are in
boldOff we go.
Rod: Okay, first of all I’d like to call down someone from the audience.
Points to woman whose hand has eagerly shot up. She looks careworn and tired – or maybe it’s the very thin eyebrows, the very heavy eyeliner and the blonde mullet...Ah this lady here – would you like to come down for a reading?
(Hands her a pack of tarot cards)What I want you to do is just give these cards a good shuffle for me, and when you’ve finished just sit them down on the table for me.
Dorky presenter: (I would NOT buy a used car from him…)
Rod’s just about to begin his reading.Rod picks up cards, straightens pack, then swooshes out the cards in a line in front of the woman.Rod: Now what I want you to do firstly, I want you to use your left hand, and I want you to pick out something that is for your conscious situation at the moment, so something for the main issue that you need to know about at the moment.
Woman appears to give Rod a whole number of cards which he lays out in some sort of pattern. Okay well basically what’s coming up around you at the moment: it’s like things have been a bit of a battle around you okay: it’s a bit like your head’s been against a brick wall; you don’t know which way to turn. What I’ve got coming up here – you thinking of changing where you’re living? Because there’s changes around your home here; moving, okay
So what? We all dream of winning Lotto and moving, don’t we? And ‘changing where you’re living’ could mean changing location or renovation. Nice and ambiguous Rod – well done.Woman: Mmmm
Rod: Has there been some turmoil come up around your home recently?
You mean like – weeds come up, Rod? Woman: Yeah Lots
Rod: Yeah because I’ve got the Tower there which indicates where things were sort of going along smoothly then all of a sudden everything turned upside down.
Yeah Rod. Course it does, now she’s confirmed ‘turmoil.’ Okay. What you’ve got here is a Two of Swords which is connected with your money and work situations. What that generally represents is where someone’s holding in some sort of emotional turmoil: something that they don’t really want to talk about cos it could alienate another party. Do you understand that?
You mean like not telling your boss to get knotted, Rod? Yeah we can all relate to that. Woman: Yeah
And if you were to come out with this it would cause problems and create quite a lot of conflict around you and involve other people. There’s a fire sign here an extra two but a fire sign…(fade out)
Dorky presenter: Hold on folks – I think he’s touched a nerve…. Whaddeva ya reckon Mr Presenter (fade in)…there’s two people that actually come up around you: they connect with your work and money situations…. Um one comes up as air; one comes up as fire: he was a Capricorn did you say?
Who, Rod? Don’t tell us you’ve edited a bit out of your schpiel or already spoken to this lady before? No! That could never happen! Woman nods Well that’s Capricorn he’s in a relationship there (?) The other thing that comes up here with your emotions: the three of swords is quite often what we call a divorce card or where there’s been a sudden impact on a relationship and caused the two of you to part.
Woman nods So it represents where there’s been you know a time of bereavement or a time of mourning so to speak: whether that was because of a separation or whether someone’s passed away …
The damn woman isn’t saying, is she Rod. (scene cut)
Rod: In a sense you feel a bit ripped off.
Woman: I do yeah…
Rod: …Something’s been stolen from you. Look, there is new beginnings on an emotional level now – I’m not saying you’re going out there looking for a relationship or anything like that because I think it’s totally the opposite at this present stage but things will balance out over time. Does that make sense?
Woman agreesBecause what we’re seeing here is your emotions being up and down, up and down like a yoyo okay but what we’re looking at here is things starting to balance out – moving away from these unsettled emotional situations… emotionally you’re going to start to come to terms with things and things are going to start to balance out for you. There is happiness for you as far as the future’s concerned…
Dorky presenter: Here’s the second part of the reading.Rod: What we might do, we’ll just have a look into the next 12 months for you and see where you’re headed.
Picks up cards and woman shuffles them again. Rod appears to meditate. Same swooshing procedure.What I want you to do this time is : I want you to use your left hand again: the first one I want this time is for your present position at the moment.
Cards laid out in a sort of semi circle Okay, what we’re looking at at the moment: pretty much the same as what we’ve already said: we’ve got a repeat. For some reason there is a fire sign coming up around you, just continually coming up. So if you don’t… (fade out)
Dorky presenter: Oh wow. Rod keeps seeing flames. Now what Rod doesn’t know ain’t that the truth… is that this woman’s husband was tragically killed in a car accident and the car burst into flames… He doesn’t keep seeing flames you Dork!! He’s seen a card allegedly connected with a fire sign TWICE. And there are only FOUR elements so it’s hardly surprising is it. Sheesh! (fade in) where your desires are concerned it’s saying you can create these changes in your life. You can make what you want to happen by using your own mind. You’ve gotta think it and feel it here too. And you’ve got to put positive energy into that – feel like Yes! Everything’s good. There will be another offer of some sort of relationship… I don’t mean to burst your bubble but there’s definitely something there. Emotionally again you know, in your unexpected events of course we’ve had an unexpected situation that’s turned your emotions into turmoil… basically at the moment you’re shut down, so you’re really not in tune with anything. Basically the five senses are all closed in; cut off; we don’t see, we don’t hear, we don’t think we don’t eat, we don’t…you know what I mean?
Yadda yadda yadda three bags full. Unexpected events causing unexpected situations. Blah blah blah. Woman: Very true
This is all connected with a lot of fear and.. a lot of… you know… a lot of stuff you don’t want to look at. You’re pushing it all down because it bothers you. You don’t wanna look at that. But what it’s saying is you need to confront the situation and let it go. Don’t look back over your shoulder at the past: keep going. Keep moving forward till you hit the light of day on the other side. It’s almost like there’s something that you need to get to the bottom of. There’s something you don’t understand here. Do you understand? It’s almost like someone’s withholding the truth or you need to get to the truth of the matter or something. Does that make sense?
Only to someone who speaks fluent REPETITIVE CLICHÉ Woman: Very much
Rod: Well you’re gonna find that out within the next couple of months. You will get to the bottom of it. Still a bit of insecurity around you…um a little bit worried maybe with finances? There’s something there that’s sort of concerning you.
Woman agrees and says something like, ‘ cashing on my home equity (?) all the time.’ I think I made that up like people do when they listen to ‘EVPs’ Rod…within six to twelve months there’s a sale of property here…
Where? Who? because you’ve got the two of swords here this is someone who’s got all this emotional stuff within themselves and they feel like they’re being pulled in two directions and they can’t see where they’re going and… am I making the right decision, am I making the right choice etc etc. I guess one part of me wants to stay where I am because of the memories and everything else that’s there, and one part of me wants to let it go because it bothers me.
Dorky Presenter: Now for the important part – let’s see how accurate Rod’s readings are.Woman: He was spot on. Very true and he was excellent. Thank you very much. I think I was meant to come here tonight. He was very spot on and he knew everything that he said… that if anyone knew my life… and the way it’s been for the last two years they would understand… I’ve been that paranoid, I have not been able to go out of the house, so to come here tonight… I felt like I was drawn to come here – he was so spot on it wasn’t funny and I’m going to go and see him again.
Spot on? Spot on? (The writer splutters like John Cleese in the Dead Parrot sketch) He said nothing but a whole lot of nebulous TOSS. The poor woman needs a GRIEF counsellor, not some scumbag who ‘reads’ bits of cardboard. It might cost her slightly more to see a PROPER counsellor as opposed to someone who pretends to interpret cardboard, but she’d get a Medicare rebate and some constructive assistance.
I could have done this reading WITHOUT the cardboard. So could you. We have enough empathy with our fellow humans to recognise the signs of people in crisis and to offer them encouragement.
What Rod has is not empathy but second-class cold reading and a dearth of conscience. And cardboard.