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Post by mrslovett on Jun 9, 2008 19:44:02 GMT
My brother died at the tragically young age of 44 two years ago. It was totally unexpected and especially traumatic for his widow, my sister-in-law, to find him dead in their home.
Now don't think I'm blaming my poor sister-in-law. Indeed at first I thought "Oh what harm does going to a "psychic" do"? As time has gone on it is clear that this bloke is preying on her. I joined one session to hear what he had to say (without saying I was the deceased's sister) and the charlatan identified me as a "Valued workmate" Yeah, right.
My sister-in-law pays him £ 100 a session which she can ill-afford. She really beleives her dead husband is speaking to her. Nothing I can say deters her.
Advice please?
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Post by Mr. Jon Donnis on Jun 9, 2008 23:59:22 GMT
Firstly lets hear who this psychic is.
Give me his name, location and so on.
Then we need to look at reporting him to tradining standards etc.
If you can get recordings of the readings and so on that would help
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Post by bobdezon on Jun 10, 2008 1:41:09 GMT
Yes, a transcript would be most helpful. You can record the psychic/medium/conman on your mobile phone maybe?
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Post by mrslovett on Jun 11, 2008 23:14:02 GMT
Yeah. Maybe I can but I have no wish to totally destroy my relationship with my sister-in-law.
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Post by bobdezon on Jun 12, 2008 1:15:09 GMT
Then you are faced with two choices as far as I can see.
Stand back and do nothing, and let your sister in law be consistantly ripped off until she is ruined financially.
Broach the subject with her, and tell her you know some experts who may be able to help her if she is willing.
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Post by sallyanne rose on Jun 12, 2008 14:03:36 GMT
Surely its better to upset her a bit now, and bring her to her senses, than too stand back and watch her waste her money and prolong her suffering - try and encourage her in the direction of greif councelling - i know its a really hard time, but she needs people to be strong around her now, not pussyfoot around for fear of upsetting her more. It sounds as if you are a really good freind to her, i wish you all the best and a karma to you for being a nice person :-)
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Post by farsideofthemoon on Jun 12, 2008 19:22:29 GMT
I'd get involved and say something. You don't know if will escalate to something else. Money is immaterial when compared to someone's life, but there is no point needlessly siphoning cash to a fraud like this when it is that much.
Two years is a long time, if she is still traumatised maybe you could try to point her to a genuine grief counsellor? They may get the point through that the psychic is an expensive waste of time.
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Post by traceyg on Jun 12, 2008 21:00:04 GMT
Unfortunately this could lead to bigger things for her. One of my old friends a few years ago became involved with a sect group if that's what you want to call them, she had lost her mother 10 years prior and I believe she never grieved for her late mother, so she started to go to see mediums and one particular day she went to a psychic fair had a reading and the medium told her she had psychic ability and asked her to join her "closed circle" she went the once and was hooked she was so brainwashed she started to distance herself from friends and family as we challenged her (in a nice way) about these circles and what they do there, so you have to be sensible and tactfull and try and explain to her that maybe this is not the right path for her. Why don't you let her read the bad psychics website as a caution!
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Post by fluffet on Jun 12, 2008 22:04:33 GMT
This is a horrible situation to be in and i can totally understand your fear of upsetting your sister in law or destroying your relationship with her .
The problem with this is as long as shes hearing what she wants to hear from this fraud she wont easily be swayed to break away from them .
The only thing i can think on is maybe if she can get that reassurance and discussion about her husband from elsewhere eventually she might see that you dont have to pay to be reminded of the person you loved and lost ...that maybe that can come from simply talking about them , remembering them with friends and family and getting out all the feelings of loss you feel without paying someone to basically feed you lies and somehow keep them alive by pretending they are talking to her .
I know it must be hard to talk about the loss of your brother with her but i think maybe thats the way to go ....shes desperatly clutching at ways of keeping him alive ,of getting to talk about him and when some fraud with no morals latches onto this its like a dream come true for them ....if you and friends and family get in there first and give her as big an outlet for talking about it as you can (as im sure you do already ) hopefully she'll forget the moneygrabbing fraudsters and prefer to hear from people who REALLY knew her husband and thier memories of the man instead of half baked random rubbish from these con artists .
Grief experts or councellors would be the ideal way to go again giving her an outlet for her need to talk about things and at least they would be re training her way of thinking gently with good advice and help but i know that most people rear at the idea of talking to a stranger at first ....however you could suggest it and if she said she wasnt keen point out that she talks to a stranger already about it so why not give it a go ?
My best wishes and good luck to you on this its a horrible thing to have to watch someone being taken in like this but at the same time knowing they are fragile and grieving and not wanting to hurt thier feelings ....but shes lucky ...she has someone who really cares for her enough to go and ask questions and to want to help on her behalf and thats a wonderful thing to have in a friend which i think she will realise even if its a bit rough at first tackling the subject with her .
x
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