Most Haunted Ep5 Delapre Abbey (Celebrity Special)

[Mr. Jon Donnis]

To air on REALLY - Thursday 18th September, 10pm




Ok, the title is misleading, it is an apparent "Celebrity Edition" and most like the last Celebrity Edition featuring a Welsh rock band that no one had heard of, this time we get 5 Rugby players that no one has heard of (outside of Rugby of course)

This time we are at Delapre Abbey.


The most important thing I need to start off with is the return of the now legendary Mel Crump, the true star of Most Haunted, and the next person odds on to be fired from the show for being more popular than Yvette Fielding!

Now if you haven't already make sure you go like the Mel Crump fan page on Facebook, she wont be around for long so enjoy her while you can.

Sadly Mel Crump's equally gorgeous sister Kim Crump is no where to be seen. Such a shame.

Anyway back to the episode since I have to write about it, we start with pretend demonologist Fred Batt, the most interesting thing about him being his receeding hairline, although I am not one to talk on that subject.

Fred talks and my brain automatically just switches off, it's times like this i really miss Dickie Fingers (Richard Felix), one of the most entertaining and genuinely excitable people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, much taller in real life too. But unfortunately as we well know if you more popular than Yvette you are soon given your marching orders!

Quick list of people fired for being more popular than Yvette.
Jason Karl
Cath Howe
Richard Felix
Phil Whyman
Dr. Matthew Smith
Lesley Smith


At last Fred has stopped talking so my brain automatically comes back on now, and Yvette is meeting these Rugby Players, I am guessing that the West Bromwich Albion reserve team weren't available!

The investigation begins, I just cant see these Rugby players not getting bored and having some fun. Any-who Yvette starts calling out to the ghosties (which don't exist), a few taps are heard, no sign of Stuart or Karl on camera yet, and more importantly no sign of Mel Crump!

Have you ever noticed how Yvette Fielding talks to the ghosts much like someone would talk to a child.

And a stone is thrown at Mel Crump! If I was her I would report Karl to the police as obviously he was the one who threw it! That is common assault as far as I am concerned!

Here is a picture of the lethal weapon used to try and maim the perfect Mel Crump! How dare they!



Worth noting how after the stone is thrown by Karl, Yvette lets the Rugby players analyse it and gets their reactions, one of the rugby players is clearly pissing himself laughing.

It does occur to me that yet again I am spending 46 minutes of my life watching grown people wander about in the dark pretending to talk to ghosts. The question then becomes who is truly the idiot? Those partaking in the farce, or those watching? My excuse is I am writing a review for BadPsychics.com so ask yourself what is your excuse!? You could literally be doing anything else and that would be more worthwhile.

Yvette is now whistling at the ghosties and asking them to "touch one of us", good job Cath Howe is not on the show otherwise for sure her backside would have been groped by now, and remember no such thing as ghosts!


Yvette tells us that it is time for a Ouija board next, and that protection has been put in place (Stuart puts a condom on) and that prayers have been said. (To which God though? The Christian God? The Jewish God? The Muslim God?, all really a waste of time since none of them really exist)

So add the green filter to the lens to make it look like night vision and away we go playing a game that has nothing to do with the occult and is owned by Hasbro!

Remember that time when Yvette Fielding got caught blatantly pushing the glass during a Most Haunted Live show cause she forgot to take her glove off? If not you can watch the clip at the following link tviscool.com/play.php?vid=173

Since then, she has never wore gloves while playing push the glass around the table! Funny that!

As expected the glass starts moving around the table instantly, remember folks this doesn't work when people are blindfolded proving 100% that this is faked.

Stuart and Karl are being very suspicious and have mainly stayed off camera for the first 20 minutes, I am sure they will re-appear later on to cause some trouble.

Funny moment where Yvette takes her finger off the glass and lets the rugby players continue to ask questions, the glass of course stops moving completely, she then rejoins and as if by magic the glass starts moving again!

Anyone who thinks that Yvette isn't as big of a faker as Karl and Stuart needs their head examined!

This Ouija board session is really dragging on now, they end up cutting it short claiming that some very personal and emotional information came through and out of respect they are not showing it. hmmmm, why do I doubt that? Anyway the Rugby players have obviously had enough and have now bugger off to the pub and left Yvette and her croneys to continue without them.

The lack of Mel Crump is also very apparent, I am guessing Yvette has personally had her time edited down to a minimum since becoming aware of her popularity. Why they employed someone so much more prettier than Yvette does seem crazy! Perhaps they thought that Most Haunted fans would dislike her because she is pretty, but the opposite has happened.

At long last Karl Beattie and Stuart are off to investigate on their own!
Worth a special note here is Karl's amazing Cardigan!



We now follow the Chuckle Brothers up the stairs into the attic, and within 5 seconds a bang is heard and something is thrown past Stuart! So very predictable, Grandpa Cardigan Karl really needs a new gimmick.

Lots of creaks, bangs, swearing ("Shower of s*it"), threatening of the ghosts, and so on. Seen it a hundred times before.

Please guys, if anyone believes that this stuff is real please leave a comment below in the comments section, I need a good laugh!

Here is the formula for the Karl and Stuart show.
1. Turn camera away
2. Throw stone
3. Turn camera back and film stone

It is so blatant what they do, how they keep straight faces is beyond me.

Let me make this clear if I have no already. Karl Beattie picks up stone, throws it, Stuart films the stone, they both claim it was thrown by ghosts! They have NEVER EVER NOT ONCE NOT EVER caught a stone thrown on video from beginning to end. Don't you think that is a bit suspicious?

I know I am getting annoyed when it is so obviously faked, but when I read on Twitter people acting all scared at watching and tweeting Yvette and Karl and saying how brave they are it makes my stomach turn at the utter stupidity of some people.

I don't blame Karl and Yvette for faking stuff, that is their job, they are making a spoof tv show, it is what they are supposed to do to try and make the show entertaining, but when people believe it is real, I really do despair at humanity, and evolution for creating humans so gullible.

Also worth noting that they haven't mentioned orbs in as long as I can recall. Probably the only good thing.

This was probably the worst show of the series so far, mainly due to a lack of Mel Crump, the ridiculous and unbelieving actions of Cardigan Karl and Stuart.

I would advise viewers to not bother watching this episode as nothing of note happens, it is not particularly entertaining, there is very little of the perfect Mel Crump, and the so called celebrities don't really do anything.

All we get is a stone repeatedly thrown by Karl throughout the episode and that is it.

We finish off with Dr. John Callow reading off a script, with his Bret Hart haircut and ridiculous scarf taking more attention than anything he says. I wonder how long before he tries to cash in and releases a book with Yvette, well before you do John ask Ciaran how many copies of his book with Yvette sold, and then maybe you will think again.

Truly awful episode and much like Karl and Yvette's sex life it had no redeeming features at all!

I'm going to watch some paint dry as after watching that anything would seem more entertaining.

Review By Jon Donnis
Follow me on Twitter @jondonnis

Read full review with pictures at
badpsychics.blogspot.co.uk/2014/09/tv-review-most-haunted-episode-510.html

[zippy]

i love your reviews. pure class.

[Mr. Jon Donnis]

Thanks, make sure to share the link to the review on the main site

[dollydaydream]

oh Jon I think you have a big crush on Mel
she is pretty though
I tried to watch it, but feel a sleep

[Mr. Jon Donnis]

I have a huge crush on her! Well at least until she is rude to me

[zippy]

ah but what about her sis though? who to choose?

[Mr. Jon Donnis]

Her sis is just as fit to be fair

[zippy]

i caught about 10mins of this drivel tonight. made me cringe.

[jimcee]

Hi All. New here and this is first post. My views on the paranormal and alternative sciences will become obvious in later posts probably. (After 60 years of interest I am no expert but have read/studied a lot). I am posting because I watched these couple of episodes - partly to see if anything had changed and party because Mrs. Jim Likes it. Yes, things HAVE changed. It's worse than before. MH has probably done more harm to the cause of genuine (even if misguided) paranormal researchers than anything since Derek Acorah. Ignoring the fakery, apart from too many people making too much noise, when the stones were "thrown" anybody who has read anything knows the stone would probably appear warm/hot if it really happened. Only once I think did anyone check this. There are many other things but the final for me is the moving chair (on camera) in the previous episode. Doesn't anybody think that, if it really happened, MH would be crowing like mad about their "proof" and it would be headline news around the world? It wasn't even reported in the Daily Mail as far as I know. I am trying to convince wife not to watch any more but it is on a series link and I know what she will say when we run out of other stuff to watch.

[Mr. Jon Donnis]

Sept 19, 2014 18:23:11 GMT jimcee said:

Hi All. New here and this is first post. My views on the paranormal and alternative sciences will become obvious in later posts probably. (After 60 years of interest I am no expert but have read/studied a lot). I am posting because I watched these couple of episodes - partly to see if anything had changed and party because Mrs. Jim Likes it. Yes, things HAVE changed. It's worse than before. MH has probably done more harm to the cause of genuine (even if misguided) paranormal researchers than anything since Derek Acorah.

Can a spoof show do damage though? I suppose if people dont get that it is a spoof then that is possible.
And welcome to the forum!

Ignoring the fakery, apart from too many people making too much noise, when the stones were "thrown" anybody who has read anything knows the stone would probably appear warm/hot if it really happened.

I do recall them checking the stones for heat, HOWEVER who says they would be hot if a ghostie picked them up and threw them anyway?
Where is the hypothesis for that? Or is it just something someone made up one day and teh paranormal communities just said "yeah that makes sense"

Only once I think did anyone check this. There are many other things but the final for me is the moving chair (on camera) in the previous episode. Doesn't anybody think that, if it really happened, MH would be crowing like mad about their "proof" and it would be headline news around the world? It wasn't even reported in the Daily Mail as far as I know. I am trying to convince wife not to watch any more but it is on a series link and I know what she will say when we run out of other stuff to watch.

I think I said something similar about that chair on my review from a few weeks ago. It was obviously faked and I think everyone who saw it realised that so that is why no one really talked about it.

Like I said the show is a spoof, and hopefully a large amount of people realise that

[zippy]

i find the histories of the locations more entertaining than the show itself. that john callow is so wooden.

[zippy]

i find the histories of the locations more entertaining than the show itself. that john callow is so wooden.

[Mr. Jon Donnis]

The history stuff bores me unfortunately, Its not presented right for me

[The Legendary Barb]

Jon, I find your reports on this programme far more entertaining than the actual show.

I have tried once or twice to watch but find it, as you so rightly say, boring.

Keep up the good work, looking forward to your account of the next spine chilling episode.

[dollydaydream]

I've tried to stay awake but fall asleep every-time
I still have not managed to watch a full show
who needs sleeping tabs with this on

I wonder if it will be picked up for a seconded series

[jimcee]

Sept 20, 2014 16:06:05 GMT Mr. Jon Donnis said:

Sept 19, 2014 18:23:11 GMT jimcee said:

Can a spoof show do damage though? I suppose if people dont get that it is a spoof then that is possible.
And welcome to the forum!

Thanks for the welcome. The answer to your question (from me anyway) is coloured by my beliefs. There are far, far too many incidents over the years recounted by many reliable witnesses (plus some incidents of my own for me) to discount EVERY unexplained by normal means event as fake or not investigated properly. Therefore investigating MUST be done by both checking for fakery and also using the "accepted" techniques of the believers - if only to show them the error of their ways. The latter, of course, will take us down the route you are so good at in outing the fakers or informing the gullible by proving how nonsense these things are. Investigation and experimentation (with repetition where appropriate) is the only way to prove or disprove ANY theory. So, my long-winded answer to your question is saying that potential investigators (whether believers or not) may well be misguided by what MH calls "investigation" and may either give up or go down the wrong route by this misguidance. This is the damage I am referring to. For the record I don't believe ANYTHING is paranormal - just normal that we maybe can't yet explain and further investigation is the only way forward on that.

Ignoring the fakery, apart from too many people making too much noise, when the stones were "thrown" anybody who has read anything knows the stone would probably appear warm/hot if it really happened.

I do recall them checking the stones for heat, HOWEVER who says they would be hot if a ghostie picked them up and threw them anyway?
Where is the hypothesis for that? Or is it just something someone made up one day and teh paranormal communities just said "yeah that makes sense"

That is one of the "accepted" things that happen if you read lots and lots of accounts - so see my above.

Only once I think did anyone check this. There are many other things but the final for me is the moving chair (on camera) in the previous episode. Doesn't anybody think that, if it really happened, MH would be crowing like mad about their "proof" and it would be headline news around the world? It wasn't even reported in the Daily Mail as far as I know. I am trying to convince wife not to watch any more but it is on a series link and I know what she will say when we run out of other stuff to watch.

I think I said something similar about that chair on my review from a few weeks ago. It was obviously faked and I think everyone who saw it realised that so that is why no one really talked about it.

True enough, but my point is that the Daily Mail loves to run articles on the paranormal (with a ? at the end of the headline so as not to commit themselves) and the fact that they did not in this case even further proves that it must be fake. Whether or not the "believers" will accept this, of course, is another matter.

Like I said the show is a spoof, and hopefully a large amount of people realise that

I think you are clutching at straws there. Those of us who realise this already do and the "believers" will never accept it but find some way to "prove" someone is hiding the truth.

[cuthulu]

This is really spooky.

As I was reading this review my coffee rapidly started to disappear as I was drinking it;
and a car drove past outside and I COULDN'T SEE ANYONE DRIVING IT as my curtains where closed at the time.

Scarey stuff and too much to be a co-incidence.

[The Legendary Barb]

I too get the occasional odd thing happening to me culhulu. Like when the kettle suddenly switches it's self off and the heating goes on all by it's self. Sometimes I scare myself. Welcome to the forum, you will find that many forum users have spooky moments.

[pandora1000]

Sept 21, 2014 8:50:08 GMT Mr. Jon Donnis said:

The history stuff bores me unfortunately, Its not presented right for me

The history stuff used to be presented with enthusiasm and imparted really well by Richard Felix and Lesley Smith (though Lesley was a bit serial killery during her first few bits to the camera, she was better when she stopped hamming it up).      Fred Batt's presentation during these new episodes is, frankly, heinous.    He is NOT a presenter, he's wooden, has a monotonous voice and the historical informaton is boring.

As for John Callow's bit to camera at the end of the new Most Haunted's.   What the hell have they done to  him?   Is he drugged/ there at gunpoint? 

[Mr. Jon Donnis]

Felix was great because he is like that in real life, its no act, he really is that enthusiastic. I always liked him.

As for John Callow, he is just some random bloke they found at a Uni, and he just reads a script