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Post by hotchic on Mar 5, 2008 17:50:36 GMT
I have just had dinner with my children. I knew they had been up to something and they were lying to me. To cut a long story short......my little one (6) decided to confess that they had opened the bathroom window and had climbed out onto the roof!!! I decided to stay calm and not shout, scream, banish them to their room if they promised never to do it again. They then told me that they were planning on Friday, when I said they could share a bedroom, to tie their sheets together to escape as they had seen on a tv programme. Because the youngest told me, as I left the table I heard the eldest tell her she was dead for telling the truth. I kept my cool and have cancelled the Disney Channel. It will hurt far more than a smacked bottom. Why oh why did I think babies were cute......sorry Mia, best not to read this  |
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Post by hotchic on Mar 5, 2008 19:03:45 GMT
And now I am in trouble with the old man as I told him that they didn't obviously want him to know because they're scared of him shouting and telling them off, and I asked him to go easy on them as I had already punished them.
Should I have kept it from him? My mum would have, but he has always asked me to tell him the truth.....however I was trying to keep his relationship with his kids as nice as possible as I had already been the bad guy and he rarely sees the children anyway.
No win scenario.
What gets me is he wants the girls to feel like they can come to him with anything....however now they think they can't trust me because I have told him and they are s*it scared of telling him now, what will they be like as teenagers?
This stuff is important. I want them to come to me when they are in trouble as I am sure they will be later in life at some point.
Help!
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Post by starx on Mar 5, 2008 19:12:13 GMT
Kids will do the most silly things.  But what is important, is that you both stick together and agree a punishment or whoever is there at the time, handles the punishment, if it came up at a later date and he found out what they did, then he would want to know why you hadn't told him and wonder what else you were keeping from him, and this may lead to a row.  x |
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Post by tomolac on Mar 5, 2008 19:13:49 GMT
so he did have a go at them?
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Post by starx on Mar 5, 2008 19:17:15 GMT
From experience either way, you usually end up being the bad guy, so you can't win. |
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Post by hotchic on Mar 5, 2008 19:23:08 GMT
Yes he did have a go at them. Yes it has lead to a row. The girls think I've let them down. He has now gone to karate. Let's hope someone kicks the s*it out of some sense into him Love and light |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2008 19:57:35 GMT
This stuff is important. I want them to come to me when they are in trouble as I am sure they will be later in life at some point. You care about them, thus you punished them for doing something wrong and dangerous. When they get older they will know that, and they will come to you if they are in trouble - because they will know their mum cares for them so much she is willing to be "the bad guy" to make them understand what is wrong and what is right, and they will know you had their best interest at heart. |
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Post by MoonRiver on Mar 5, 2008 22:07:44 GMT
Ah Hotchic sweetheart, the joys of motherhood are great! Obviously your elder child has learned that actions have consequences and decided it best to keep their little adventure from you. Whereas your little one is still innocently unaware and shares it with you. I had similar experiences when my girls were young - their dad worked away a lot too, so I was responsible for the majority of the parenting. I found that allowing them to push your boundaries a little in things that are neither important nor dangerous, such as 10 minutes later to bed, or having an extra biscuit gave them a sense of being in control, which to my mind is part of their development. Then you have a bartering system in place, such as 'Mummy agreed to let you watch your programme, I think it would be nice if you now tidied your room'. I suggest you give the elder child 'important' jobs to do in order to raise awareness of responsibility; "like hold mummy's car keys because you're big and I know you won't lose them". Little ones love to be treated like grown-ups and in my experience respond well to your trust in them. I wouldn't keep it from your husband and I would let the little ones know that daddy will be told. Explain you are a family and a family works as a team! I think you are doing well Hotchic, dont worry too much about it. You obviously love your family, your concern for this incident is proof of that. Enjoy them!  |
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Post by tomolac on Mar 5, 2008 23:03:27 GMT
well as you have reasoned, parenting is tough while I agree that you should tell the father, him having a go at them has not only reinforced that they shouldn't do it, but also that they shouldn't talk about it. I'd say do like MoonRiver says, but not so much treat them like adults, but think how you would deal with yourself if you were the child and do that, the old 'do unto others' bit, treat them how you would expect to be treated, persevere through unconditional love. its said all the time because its not always an easy thing to do, but its the best you can do for your children. |
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Post by steje73 on Mar 6, 2008 8:08:55 GMT
How was everyone this morning, if you don't mind me asking?
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Post by gizzy1 on Mar 6, 2008 10:14:10 GMT
Oh the joys of beinga parent !!! There really are no hard and fast rules to follow, babies dont come with instruction manuals or a money back guarrantee, they should carry a government health warning tho !!  My kids used to try every trick in the book to out fox me and there is still stuff coming out nowabout what they used to get up to and the look on their faces when I tell them I already knew, is brilliant. Sometimes I often wonder if kids think us parents went from being baies to parents and totally missed out the junior and teenage stage |
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Post by hellyp on Mar 6, 2008 10:15:25 GMT
Sounds harsh, but don't let the kids divide you and your other half. If they are anything like my little darling, they're experts at playing one off against the other.
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Post by gizzy1 on Mar 6, 2008 10:20:54 GMT
Sounds harsh, but don't let the kids divide you and your other half. If they are anything like my little darling, they're experts at playing one off against the other. Aint they just and they do the same with grandparents !!! |
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Post by Mr. Jon Donnis on Mar 6, 2008 11:13:22 GMT
lock the windows
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Post by hotchic on Mar 6, 2008 11:20:16 GMT
Fab Jon. Thanks for that. |
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Post by hotchic on Mar 6, 2008 11:24:11 GMT
How was everyone this morning, if you don't mind me asking? Everything is fine this morning. The heated discussion went on over dinner, but was resolved in the fact that neither of us have been parents before and this is no training scheme for it and that we both made mistakes in this instance. What did come out of it though from little legs was that they had been dared by another friend to get out of the house at some point in some way so that they could belong to the 'Secret Spy Club'! They know they can't get out of the front door or back gate so they tried the window. I also have to give my eldest 10 out of 10 for balls. She will defend herself and argue till she is blue in the face, and even try it on with her Dad.....I wouldn't! I won't tell her that though. Don't need her anymore cocky than she already is |
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Post by mia on Mar 8, 2008 9:20:27 GMT
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Post by mia on Mar 8, 2008 9:20:48 GMT
God help me!!!!!!! ;D
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Post by farsideofthemoon on Mar 11, 2008 21:00:09 GMT
I used to climb out the bedroom window, walk across the kitchen extension roof, onto the garage roof, and jump down into the garden. I was only about 8 or 9 at the time.  Never done me any harm  |
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