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Post by mrjohnno on Oct 20, 2010 9:27:07 GMT
A young Arab asks his father: What is this weird hat that we are wearing? It's a "chechia" because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun. And what is this type of clothing that we are wearing? It's a "djbellah" because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body! And what are these ugly shoes that we have on our feet? These are "babouches", which keep us from burning our feet when in the desert ! Tell me, papa... Yes, my son ? Why are we living in Scunthorpe and still wearing all this s*it ?
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Post by Amaris on Oct 23, 2010 16:42:29 GMT
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Post by redbaron on Oct 23, 2010 19:33:58 GMT
hmm cant see your picture amaris...
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Post by Amaris on Oct 23, 2010 22:54:27 GMT
hmm cant see your picture amaris...  Anyone else not see it? |
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Stephen
Egg
Get up, boy. I bet you can squeal. I bet you can squeal like a pig.
Posts: 212
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Post by Stephen on Oct 24, 2010 0:56:16 GMT
hmm cant see your picture amaris... Cant see it in IE but there it is in Google Chrome |
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Stephen
Egg
Get up, boy. I bet you can squeal. I bet you can squeal like a pig.
Posts: 212
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Post by Stephen on Oct 24, 2010 1:01:30 GMT
A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave.
Across the wall of the cave the following symbols were carved, in this order:
A woman, a donkey, a shovel, a fish, and a Star of David.
They decided that this was a unique find, and the writings were at least three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archaeologists from all over the world had come to study the ancient symbols.
They held a huge meeting, after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings.
The president of the society stood up and pointed at the first drawing and said:
"This looks like a woman. We can judge that this race was family oriented and held women in high esteem.
You can also tell that they were intelligent, as the next symbol resembles a donkey; so they were smart enough to train animals to help them till the soil.
The next drawing looks like a shovel of some sort, which means they even had tools to work with.
Even further proof of their intelligence is the fish which means that if a famine had hit the earth whereby the crops didn't grow, they would take to the sea for food.
The last symbol appears to be the Star of David, which means they were evidently Hebrew."
The audience applauded enthusiastically.
Suddenly a little old man stood up in the back of the room and said, "Idiots! Hebrew is read from right to left. This is what it says
'Holy Mackerel, Dig the Ass on That Woman!!'
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Post by redbaron on Oct 24, 2010 3:09:11 GMT
hmm cant see your picture amaris... I can now, and i could if i quoted the post and pasted the url dirctley into firefox, but it didnt show up in the post originally. |
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Post by star on Oct 24, 2010 18:24:48 GMT
;D ;D
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Post by tomroberts on Oct 26, 2010 14:37:25 GMT
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Post by Amaris on Oct 27, 2010 13:51:37 GMT
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Post by mrjohnno on Oct 27, 2010 14:35:47 GMT
lol
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Post by redbaron on Nov 10, 2010 3:37:05 GMT
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Stephen
Egg
Get up, boy. I bet you can squeal. I bet you can squeal like a pig.
Posts: 212
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Post by Stephen on Nov 10, 2010 7:36:23 GMT
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Post by redbaron on Nov 10, 2010 14:23:08 GMT
not sure if its Kitt or a cylon under there lol.
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Post by Mr. Jon Donnis on Nov 10, 2010 16:58:03 GMT
More KITT i think
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Post by redbaron on Dec 1, 2010 19:02:01 GMT
![]() i20.Report this post to Admin please.com/albums/b212/HighlandSniper58/Album%20No2/Album%20No3/Album%20No4/6ecb4bf0.jpg[/img] |
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Post by mrjohnno on Dec 17, 2010 8:47:59 GMT
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.
The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope.. Can you please help me?
Sincerely, Edna
The postal worker was touched.. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds.
By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.
All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read:
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?
Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was £4 missing.
I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.
Sincerely, Edna
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Post by redbaron on Dec 30, 2010 14:50:37 GMT
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Post by redbaron on Dec 30, 2010 14:53:25 GMT
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Post by Mr. Jon Donnis on Jan 2, 2011 13:52:04 GMT
Some classics, keep them coming
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Anyone else not see it?
